Listening or solutioning to your partner

Ladies need lots of love, they deserve lots of love from their men. Men on the other hand don’t always listen and before their partner is done, they start the laundry list of potential solutions that they want their partner to start implementing right away. Not getting the point of listening. Lot of time they don’t want the solution, just someone to hear!

Anyway listening and solutioning are two essential aspects of effective communication in a relationship. Both play crucial roles in fostering understanding, empathy, and growth between partners.

• Listening: Active and empathetic listening is the foundation of any healthy relationship that one would have. It involves giving your partner your full attention, being present in the moment, and genuinely trying to understand their thoughts and feelings. Here are few key elements of effective listening:

• Focus: Put aside distractions and make an effort to concentrate on what your partner is saying. This shows them that you value their words and opinions, not just the looks.

• Empathy: Try to put yourself in your partner's shoes and understand their perspective. Empathizing with their emotions can help you connect on a deeper level and build trust.

• Non-judgmental attitude: Avoid passing judgment or jumping to conclusions when your partner shares their thoughts or experiences or clumsy situations.

• Active responses: Show that you are actively listening by nodding, using affirmations like "I understand" or "I see," or “I am with you”, and asking open-ended questions to encourage further expression.

• Solutioning: When it comes to problem-solving within a relationship, one doesn’t have be Sherlock Holmes, however it's important to remember that both partners need to contribute and collaborate. Here are some steps to effective solutioning:

• Open communication: Encourage open and honest dialogue about the issues at hand. Create an atmosphere where both partners feel comfortable expressing their concerns and needs. Without undercutting the partners view or thoughts.

• Acknowledge emotions: Validate each other's feelings and emotions related to the problem. Emotions are a natural part of problem-solving, and addressing them respectfully can lead to better outcomes.

• Brainstorm together: Work as a team to generate potential solutions. Be open to each other's ideas and suggestions, even if they initially seem different from your own. No question is dumb and no answer is stupid.

• Evaluate options: After brainstorming, discuss the pros and cons of each solution. Consider the potential impact on both partners and the relationship as a whole.

• Mutual decision-making: Aim for a decision that both partners feel comfortable with and committed to implementing. Compromise might be necessary, but it should be a collaborative effort.

• Implement and review: Once a solution is chosen, put it into action and monitor its effectiveness. Be willing to adjust if needed and have regular check-ins to see how the solution is working for both of you.

Remember, effective listening and solutioning require patience, understanding, and a willingness to work together. By nurturing these skills, you can build a strong foundation for a healthy and harmonious relationship which should mature with the age.

What it means to be a passionate partner?

Passion: extreme desire to do something with great interest! A passionate partner is a true gift. Sharing passion with your partner is important to create or enhance intimacy, better communication, share experience, sharing pursuits, shared projects, dedicating time to each other, sharing experiences and enhancing personal growth.

Sharing passion among partners can be a wonderful way to deepen your connection and create a sense of shared excitement and purpose. Here are some suggestions on how to share passion with your partner:

1. Enhance/create intimacy: Passion fires the flames of intimacy. It can create or help build it stronger and better. It makes partners closer than ever. Sex without passion is flowers without smell.

2. Communicate openly: Start by discussing your passions and interests with your partner. Share why these things matter to you and how they bring you joy. Encourage your partner to do the same. This open communication will help you both understand each other's passions better.

3. Show genuine interest: Actively listen to your partner when they talk about their passions. Ask questions, express curiosity, and show genuine interest in what they are sharing. This will make your partner feel valued and supported in pursuing their passions.

4. Share experiences: Find ways to experience each other's passions together. For example, if your partner loves cooking, join them in the kitchen and prepare a meal together. If you enjoy hiking, take your partner on a hike and share the beauty of nature. By participating in each other's passions, you create opportunities for shared experiences and memories.

5. Support each other's pursuits: Encourage and support your partner in pursuing their passions. Offer help, provide resources, and be their cheerleader. Attend their performances, exhibitions, or events related to their passion. Your support will strengthen their commitment and make them feel loved.

6. Collaborate on shared projects: Identify areas where your passions overlap and consider collaborating on a project together. It could be a creative endeavor, a hobby, or a cause you both care about. By working together, you can combine your skills and interests, and create something meaningful as a team.

7. Plan dedicated time: Make sure to set aside dedicated time for each other's passions. Schedule regular date nights or dedicated days to explore and engage in your respective interests. This will reinforce the importance of your partner's passions in your relationship and provide space for individual growth.

8. Be open to new experiences: Be open to trying new things and exploring new passions together. This will allow you to discover shared interests that you both can be passionate about. Attend workshops, classes, or events in areas you both find intriguing and see what sparks your enthusiasm.

9. Encourage personal growth: Recognize that passions and interests can evolve over time. Support your partner's personal growth by encouraging them to explore new avenues and expand their horizons. Be open-minded and embrace the changes that come with individual exploration.

Remember, sharing passion is not about giving up your own interests, but about finding common ground and fostering a supportive and enriching environment where both partners can pursue their passions and grow together. Passion is a very powerful driving force. It motivates one to reach higher and deeper. Find your passion or share the passion of your partner in way that defines you or both!

Further reading: Passion defines many things in life, but at the same time it’s important to be empathetic lover. Read more how to be a empathetic lover here in my previous blog here.

Good partner - Being an empathetic lover - Part 2

In my series about being a good partner, what I believe is being an empathetic lover is extremely important. Showing empathy involves being able to understand and share the feelings of another person. It is an important aspect of building and maintaining healthy relationships, whether it's with friends, family members, colleagues, or romantic partners. Being an empathetic lover means being able to connect with your partner's emotions, and responding to them with sensitivity and care. In my opinion here are some tips for developing empathy in your romantic relationships:

1. Practice active listening: Nobody listens anymore. We have already decided what we want to hear, even before other person had finishing talking. What we can do is pay close attention to what your partner is saying and validate their feelings. Show that you are truly engaged in the conversation by asking questions and reflecting back what you hear.

2. Put yourself in your partner's shoes: What I do is I try to imagine what it would feel like to be in my partner's situation. Empathy requires that I understand and relate to my partner's emotions, even if I don't necessarily agree with him.

3. Communicate effectively: Communication is key in any relationship. Communicate often, communicate more. Be willing to share your own thoughts and feelings, and encourage your partner to do the same. This will help you both develop a deeper understanding of each other.

4. Show affection: Physical touch can be a powerful way to show empathy and support. Hug your partner, hold their hand, or give them a gentle touch on the shoulder to let them know you are there for them.

5. Practice empathy: Put yourself in your partner's shoes and try to imagine how they might be feeling. Empathy requires time and effort. Don't rush your partner to feel better or try to fix their problems for them. Instead, offer your support and patience as they work through their emotions.

Remember, being an empathetic lover is not something that can be learned overnight. It takes practice and a willingness to be vulnerable and open with your partner. With time and effort, you can develop a deep and meaningful connection based on empathy, understanding, and support.

Further reading, do my checkout my blogpost that I wrote previously about how to be a good partner, here, it’s not an exhaustive list, however it’s few top things take makes us better for each other.

Two of us and one of me - for you

As they say two is better than one. It’s not like me living solitary life is not fun. You don’t have to respond to anyone and anybody. One can party out late and have shots after shots. But it’s not fun to come home to an empty house. I have done my fair share of the parties. I said to myself, enough is enough!. I wanted to find someone where I can be myself and not lose myself, but perhaps rediscover myself. I want someone to show me my adventurous side, someone who can learn my wildest side and will still be there for me the next day.

Lets take a sneak peak at my journey

Before meeting my partner, there was part of me that would keep that side private. I only showed to myself, not always revealing to past boyfriends, family or friends. My fear and self doubt would creep in. If they knew this side, would they still be there? Would they still love me? It would quickly turn into a downward spiral. As other women may know, we feel that we have to keep it together for those around us. To stay balanced and not show our true selves. It is always a coverup. Its a mask. When I finally found my partner in life, he helped remove that cover and unmask me, which was ultra-liberating. He loved me and all sides of me. I don’t have to project that cover or that balance for having love in my life. I can be my more authentic self. Sometimes I am normal and polite and other times, more wild and a party girl, but my partner is still there. I have felt in past that if I showed the other side of me, that the man would feel intimidated by me and find a reason to chicken out of the relationship. That was not that case! Men do want to know the real you. When you find your partner, they want to share in that with with you and partake of it. It brings us closer together. I have now realized those expectations; be they, societal or cultural, was not realistic at all. To feel you have to be a lady and act like this or that way, Life is too short for that. YOLO, as cheesy as that may sound! So your answer should be why not? Why not try those things? Why not share those things with your partner and be that person you want to be? Stop beating yourself up to portray a certain person, and for what? What does it get you? Do you want to live trying or not live? Embrace that side of yourself. Who cares if you have people who don’t accept this side of you. They weren’t the right person anyway. The people who are your true friends, and who are your partner, they will be with you and will accept you. Life should be fun and not lived with so many rules that you can’t express yourself. It’s ok to be you, everyone else is taken! Your partner will be there for you, appreciate and reciprocate back to you. Be wild! Only one question remains, can you handle their wild side in return?