Life is what you make of it!

Relationships are hard. One cannot be on the sidelines and expect to win. One has to be part of the every discussion, every plan and every adventure. Love is forgiving. Love is painful. Love is fulfilling. The desire to be with someone should be so compelling that you need to have only person in your mind, i.e your love!

I am not an expert at it, but being with my fiancé for more than five years now, has taught me a little and I want to share it the rest with you, as to what worked and how we moved ahead to forge our beautiful relationship.

Ash Dhakne 8/11/23 Ash Dhakne 8/11/23

Listening or solutioning to your partner

Ladies need lots of love, they deserve lots of love from their men. Men on the other hand don’t always listen and before their partner is done, they start the laundry list of potential solutions that they want their partner to start implementing right away. Not getting the point of listening. Lot of time they don’t want the solution, just someone to hear!

Anyway listening and solutioning are two essential aspects of effective communication in a relationship. Both play crucial roles in fostering understanding, empathy, and growth between partners.

Listening: Active and empathetic listening is the foundation of any healthy relationship that one would have. It involves giving your partner your full attention, being present in the moment, and genuinely trying to understand their thoughts and feelings. Here are few key elements of effective listening:

Focus: Put aside distractions and make an effort to concentrate on what your partner is saying. This shows them that you value their words and opinions, not just the looks.
Empathy: Try to put yourself in your partner's shoes and understand their perspective. Empathizing with their emotions can help you connect on a deeper level and build trust.
Non-judgmental attitude: Avoid passing judgment or jumping to conclusions when your partner shares their thoughts or experiences or clumsy situations.
Active responses: Show that you are actively listening by nodding, using affirmations like "I understand" or "I see," or “I am with you”, and asking open-ended questions to encourage further expression.

Solutioning: When it comes to problem-solving within a relationship, one doesn’t have be Sherlock Holmes, however it's important to remember that both partners need to contribute and collaborate. Here are some steps to effective solutioning:

Open communication: Encourage open and honest dialogue about the issues at hand. Create an atmosphere where both partners feel comfortable expressing their concerns and needs. Without undercutting the partners view or thoughts.
Acknowledge emotions: Validate each other's feelings and emotions related to the problem. Emotions are a natural part of problem-solving, and addressing them respectfully can lead to better outcomes.
Brainstorm together: Work as a team to generate potential solutions. Be open to each other's ideas and suggestions, even if they initially seem different from your own. No question is dumb and no answer is stupid.
Evaluate options: After brainstorming, discuss the pros and cons of each solution. Consider the potential impact on both partners and the relationship as a whole.
Mutual decision-making: Aim for a decision that both partners feel comfortable with and committed to implementing. Compromise might be necessary, but it should be a collaborative effort.
Implement and review: Once a solution is chosen, put it into action and monitor its effectiveness. Be willing to adjust if needed and have regular check-ins to see how the solution is working for both of you.

Remember, effective listening and solutioning require patience, understanding, and a willingness to work together. By nurturing these skills, you can build a strong foundation for a healthy and harmonious relationship which should mature with the age.

Ash Dhakne 1/19/23 Ash Dhakne 1/19/23

Mindfulness - Why I am always lost? - Part 1

Mindfulness - put simply being mindful of what we are doing, trying very hard to keep focus on whats in front of us, not being somewhere else. Like everyone else I have pondered hard at the problem and out of many remedies, doing meditation is simplest and most effective. Read more and let me know what do you think?

Mindfulness - What is it?

Someone wise has said “Mindfulness is the practice of purposely bringing one's attention to the present-moment experience without evaluation, a skill one develops through meditation or other training” source Wikipedia.

Why I am always lost?

It’s so hard to focus these days, with technology encroaching every aspect of life, calendar pop ups, e-mail notifications, news alerts, exercise reminders, ovulation estimates etc, the list goes on and on. With so much technology around us, it encroaches into our personal space whether being on the date or worst case in the bedroom. It’s very easy to get lost or super distracted.

How not to get lost?

Lot of things can be done to turn our focus onto things you care about. What I am doing lately is trying a meditation every morning from my favorite yogi, Boho Beautiful. She has several mediations of 5-15 minutes. They are perfect for busy life like mine. She does guided mediation and they are absolutely fabulous. Her calming voice, guided mantras to recite while focusing on the breathing aka pranayama with eyes closed has helped me a lot. It has brought more focus and awareness into my personal life and my professional life as well. With laser sharp focus at my disposal, I am seeing great results. My day starts with more calm. My boyfriend is more attentive as I not lost anymore, he feels loved, cared and I feel the same way toward him. I feel there is more awareness to what I am doing and thinking. I am creating positive energy and a better environment to those around me. I feel more at peace within myself.

I am hoping I can continue this way and achieve mindfulness in every task or moment that I care about.